Change starts with you

Hello, friends,

I've caught myself musing on this again lately—something that's cropped up in so many of our conversations at Love Centered Life. It's one of those truths that hits home every time, even for me. How often do we truly take a good, long look at ourselves? Not just a quick glance in the mirror while brushing our teeth or fixing our hair, but a proper pause to really see who's staring back? Most days, that reflection is the only glimpse we get of our own face, isn't it? Yet we're out there spotting strangers on the commute to work, colleagues in meetings, or family across the dinner table far more often than we ever clock our own expressions.

The Importance of Self-Reflection

So how well do we actually know what we look like when a genuine smile breaks through, or when laughter bubbles up unbidden? What about those tougher moments—the crease of a cry, the flicker of a lie slipping out, or the flash of anger tightening our jaw? If we're honest, not very often, if at all. And that's where the gap widens: we know the people around us inside out, their quirks and tells, but ourselves? We skim the surface and carry on.

It's not easy to bridge that, I know—life's a whirlwind, pulling us outward with endless to-dos and the needs of others. But here's the gentle nudge I've come to rely on: getting to know yourself isn't some fluffy extra; it's the foundation for everything else. It's like finally sitting down with that mate you've been avoiding because their habits grate on you—the ones that feel toxic, draining the air from the room. You spot their flaws a mile off, don't you? The sharp words, the unspoken grudges, the way they show up half-hearted.

Turning the Lens Inward

Now turn that lens inward for a second: what if some of those patterns live in you too? What if you're the one dishing out the same unintentional hurts to the folk you care about, mirroring back the very things that wound you? You'll never spot it, never shift it, until you make the time to really see. To tune into your own thoughts as they whirl—'Why did that bother me so much?' or 'What am I really feeling under this rush?'—and your choices in the thick of it: 'Did I snap because I'm knackered, or is there something deeper bubbling?'

It's confronting, sure, especially when the view isn't all sunshine. You might not like bits of who you've become—the autopilot reactions, the unexamined grudges that sneak in. But that's the point: only you hold the power to turn it around, to grow into someone kinder, steadier, more at ease in your own skin. And it starts with that willingness to look, without flinching away.

Making Self-Discovery Practical

So, how do we make it real, not just words on a page? Let's keep it simple and doable, the way we've found works best in our sessions—no massive overhauls that fizzle out after a day. Begin with the mirror exercise you mentioned; it's a cracker for cutting through the fog. Next time you're alone, even if it's just for two minutes, stand in front of one and hold your own gaze. Don't rush—breathe steady, and ask: 'What do I see right now? Not the surface stuff like tired eyes or a messy fringe, but the energy underneath. Am I carrying tension from yesterday? A spark of pride from something small I nailed?'

Let the feelings roll in without judging them; jot a quick note if it helps, like 'Eyes soft but shoulders high—time to shake that off.' Do it daily for a week, and you'll start noticing patterns you never clocked before: how your face softens when you're truly heard, or tightens when old doubts creep in.

Observing Yourself Throughout the Day

From there, layer in a bit of quiet observation throughout the day. When you're in a chat or facing a decision, pause and check in: 'What's my gut saying here? Is this reaction mine, or borrowed from someone else's script?' It's like becoming your own gentle detective—not to pick faults, but to understand the wiring so you can re-route it. Maybe set a phone reminder for midday: 'How's the inside looking?'

And for those tougher spots, like when anger flares or tears threaten, give yourself permission to step away and reflect later: 'What triggered that? What do I need to feel steady again?' Over time, this builds a map of you—not a perfect one, but an honest one that shows where the roundabouts are, the dead ends you've outgrown.

The Ripple Effect of Self-Discovery

You'll catch yourself choosing differently: a softer response instead of a snap, a boundary drawn with kindness rather than resentment. And the ripple? It touches everyone—your family sees a calmer you, your mates feel the steadiness, and suddenly, those connections deepen because you're showing up whole, not half-hidden.

I reckon that's the real game-changer: not erasing the flaws overnight, but befriending them enough to move forward lighter. We've seen it time and again at Love Centered Life—folk who started with that mirror pause end up leading their lives with a clarity that draws others in, turning 'Who am I, really?' into 'Here's what I've got, and it's enough.'

If this stirs something, why not give it a go today? And if you fancy sharing what you spot or hearing how others have navigated it, our Facebook page is buzzing with those sorts of exchanges—real stories, no filters.

Take that breath, find the mirror, and see you there.

With love,

Darren 🤍 🌹

Love Centered Life

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