A Soft Reminder: Be Kind to Yourself

Hello there.

If you've ever caught yourself offering a friend a hug through their tough patch, only to turn around and give your own slip-ups a right telling-off, then this is a little note from me to you. As a counsellor who's heard this story in so many shapes—from the parent beating themselves up over a missed school event to the colleague replaying every awkward email—I've learnt that we're often our own harshest critics. Self-compassion isn't about letting yourself off the hook; it's about extending the same gentle understanding you so freely give to others. It's pausing in that moment of frustration and saying, "This is hard, and that's alright—I'm doing my best." Start there, and watch how it eases the weight you've been carrying alone.

I've seen it transform lives, quiet-like. One client, after years of pushing through burnout with gritted teeth, tried a simple trick: talking to herself as she'd talk to her daughter. "It's okay you didn't get it all done today; tomorrow's a fresh start." Within weeks, her sleep improved, her patience grew, and those nagging doubts started to fade. It's not magic, but it is powerful—backed by studies showing self-compassion can cut anxiety in half and build real resilience. When we treat ourselves kindly, we don't just survive the stumbles; we bounce back stronger, with more to offer the world.

You're worthy of that kindness, right now, no strings attached. Healing starts with these small acts of grace towards yourself, and it ripples out in ways you can't yet see. Try it today—place a hand on your heart, breathe deep, and whisper something true and tender. You've got this, one compassionate breath at a time. I'm here if you need a listening ear.

The Gentle Art of Self-Compassion: Treating Yourself with the Kindness You Offer Others

As a counsellor who's spent the best part of a decade sitting with people through their ups and downs, I've come to see self-compassion as one of those quiet game-changers we all need but rarely talk about. In our rush to be there for everyone else—sorting out family rows, covering shifts at work, or just lending an ear—we can forget the person who needs it most: us. That inner voice turns sharp, doesn't it? "You should have known better," or "Why can't you get this right?" It's exhausting, and it blocks the healing we crave. But self-compassion flips that script. It's not indulgence or weakness; it's a deliberate choice to meet your struggles with the warmth you'd show a close mate. From what I've witnessed, it doesn't just soften the edges of our pain—it builds a foundation for lasting change.

Let me tell you about Sarah, a regular in my practice (name changed, of course). She came to me knackered from years of single parenting and a demanding job, her confidence in tatters after one too many "failures"—a forgotten birthday here, a work deadline missed there. We started small: noticing when that critic kicked in and responding with curiosity instead. "What would I say to a friend in this spot?" It felt awkward at first, but soon she was jotting notes in her phone: "You're human, and humans have off days." Over time, it shifted everything—her relationships warmed up because she wasn't snapping from resentment, and she even carved out time for a weekly yoga class that brought her joy back. Research from places like the University of Texas echoes this: practising self-compassion can lower stress hormones by up to 25% and help us recover faster from setbacks. It's practical science, wrapped in everyday kindness.

So, how do you weave this into your routine without it feeling like another chore? Begin by spotting the patterns—keep a quick journal for a week: when do you judge yourself hardest? Mornings after a poor sleep? Evenings scrolling comparisons? Then, try the basics: a three-part pause. First, acknowledge the feeling—"This hurts, and that's valid." Second, remind yourself it's common—"Plenty of us feel this way." Third, offer a kind word—"May I be gentle with myself through this." Apps like Insight Timer have guided bits if you fancy, but even a sticky note on your mirror works wonders. And remember, it's not about perfection; slip-ups are part of it. Self-compassion grows with use, turning that harsh inner chatter into a supportive ally that frees you up to live more fully.

If this stirs something in you, that's the healing nudge you've been waiting for. You're not alone in needing this grace, and extending it to yourself isn't selfish—it's essential. It honours the effort you're already putting in and opens doors to deeper connections, both with others and within. Fancy chatting more? Reach out for a session or drop an email—I'm here to walk alongside. Take it easy on yourself today; your journey deserves that gentle hand.

With love,

Darren 🤍🌹